this will be a night to untag.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
