Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
