I have demons in me.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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