capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
