hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Farmville is her only friend.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
