So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
