Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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