awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
