dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
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I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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