u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
