She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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