so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
