she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
