That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
