I don't think brook has ever known best
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
