Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
