i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize