i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
