I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
