I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i walk over a car last night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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