Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
