If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
