I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy