Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH