Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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  (313): I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair http://tfl.nu/9zqr
  Replies (1) Good night (2069) Bad night (1270)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???

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  (303): do u usually make out with people before telling them your name??? http://tfl.nu/ocp0
  Replies (27) Good night (4453) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her

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  (270): I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her http://tfl.nu/ank1
  Replies (53) Good night (1448) Bad night (5851)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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  (303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc
  Replies (43) Good night (5324) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.

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  (253): I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore. http://tfl.nu/1haa
  Replies (15) Good night (1558) Bad night (3737)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

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  (814): No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/k4yz
  Replies (4) Good night (4658) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome

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  (708): I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome http://tfl.nu/0ypv
  Replies (11) Good night (1732) Bad night (4140)
• Favorite

  (409): View more from Texas

  Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?

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  (409): Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall? http://tfl.nu/ymbz
  Replies (7) Good night (2546) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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  (717): Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts. http://tfl.nu/zklc
  Replies (6) Good night (1373) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I swear they were about to hook up!!

  (1-240): View more from Maryland

  I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.

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  (240): I swear they were about to hook up!! (1-240): I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot. http://tfl.nu/yhvp
  Replies (5) Good night (1872) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.

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  (253): Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers. http://tfl.nu/t7fg
  Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.

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  (814): Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark. http://tfl.nu/ixe0
  Replies (2) Good night (1526) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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  (803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b
  Replies (3) Good night (1163) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.

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  (281): Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out. http://tfl.nu/697e
  Replies (2) Good night (1332) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.

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  (712): I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple. http://tfl.nu/5d4d
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (583)

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