The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
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I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.