your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dating After Heartbreak
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.