Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I think I have a pornographic memory.

  (954): View more from Florida

  Don't you mean photographic?

  (407): View more from Florida

  No.

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  (407): I think I have a pornographic memory. (954): Don't you mean photographic? (407): No. http://tfl.nu/ii2n
  Replies (15) Good night (5798) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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  (416): Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management. http://tfl.nu/afuw
  Replies (16) Good night (4705) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.

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  (620): We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example. http://tfl.nu/aei8
  Replies (23) Good night (5846) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on

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  (412): i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on http://tfl.nu/87g6
  Replies (38) Good night (5993) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris

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  (905): She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris http://tfl.nu/nmbr
  Replies (43) Good night (8799) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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  (402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8
  Replies (24) Good night (2323) Bad night (3282)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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  (662): I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics http://tfl.nu/lc06
  Replies (9) Good night (1262) Bad night (3157)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.

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  (231): P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles. http://tfl.nu/wlbn
  Replies (14) Good night (2732) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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  (813): Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night.... http://tfl.nu/k2vf
  Replies (3) Good night (2350) Bad night (1078)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..

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  (302): you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor.. http://tfl.nu/0kdc
  Replies (8) Good night (2456) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.

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  (519): No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home. http://tfl.nu/it1o
  Replies (2) Good night (577) Bad night (1478)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.

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  (630): There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win. http://tfl.nu/fnn3
  Replies (8) Good night (1784) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED

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  (507): THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED http://tfl.nu/xpsw
  Replies (10) Good night (553) Bad night (1299)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.

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  (412): Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts. http://tfl.nu/nvqi
  Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I am thankful for thumbs.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Land dolphins.

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  (425): I am thankful for thumbs. (425): Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins. (425): Land dolphins. http://tfl.nu/9wit
  Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (171)

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