Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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