i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
