My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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