Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
