Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
