It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
