I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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