How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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