I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
