Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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