Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You had me at "let me see your balls"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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