it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
