I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
