I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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