i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
