i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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