He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
