She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize