Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
