Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
