My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
