We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
