I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
