I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
