Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
