I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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