Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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