I wanna bring you to show and tell
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
