FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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