Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
