Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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