Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
