porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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