But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize