Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dick very happy bro
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
