do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
