Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
