she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
