GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
