i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
